by Yaseen | Apr 4, 2025 | Mental Health, Narcissistic Abuse
The narcissist’s greatest fear is being exposed as powerless—yet their own tactics often accelerate their downfall while propelling you toward freedom. Here’s how their “destroy the target” mission ultimately implodes:
1. Their Rage Reveals Their Weakness
- Healthy people don’t obsess over destroying others—they move on.
- A narcissist’s fixation on revenge proves:
- You still live rent-free in their mind.
- They need you to feel broken to feel whole.
The harder they try to crush you, the more they admit your power over them.
2. Their Smear Campaigns Expose Them
- When they lie about you, decent people see through it—and question their character.
- Their over-the-top theatrics (fake victimhood, exaggerated accusations) make them look:
- Unstable (Why are they so obsessed?)
- Projective (Their accusations often reveal their sins.)
Truth has a way of outliving lies.
3. Their Hoover Attempts Prove You’re Winning
- If you were truly “worthless,” why would they keep circling back?
- Their desperation to re-engage (love-bombing, threats, pity plays) screams:
- “I can’t function without my favorite toy (you).”
Silence is your superpower—their need for reaction is their kryptonite.
4. Their Control Tactics Force You to Grow
- Their abuse accelerates your awakening:
- Gaslighting → You learn to trust yourself.
- Isolation → You find real community.
- Manipulation → You master boundaries.
They wanted a puppet—they created a warrior.
5. Their Karma is Built Into Their Pathology
- Narcissists can’t change, so they’re doomed to:
- Repeat the same cycles (and lose everyone).
- Live in a self-made prison of paranoia (trusting no one, even allies).
- Die emotionally starved (no capacity for real love).
Their punishment is being them.
The Final Twist: You Outlive Their Narrative
- They expected you to collapse into their shadow—but instead, you:
- Heal.
- Thrive.
- Forget them.
Their “destruction” was the fertilizer for your rebirth.The narcissist’s greatest fear is being exposed as powerless—yet their own tactics often accelerate their downfall while propelling you toward freedom. Here’s how their “destroy the target” mission ultimately implodes:
1. Their Rage Reveals Their Weakness
- Healthy people don’t obsess over destroying others—they move on.
- A narcissist’s fixation on revenge proves:
- You still live rent-free in their mind.
- They need you to feel broken to feel whole.
The harder they try to crush you, the more they admit your power over them.
2. Their Smear Campaigns Expose Them
- When they lie about you, decent people see through it—and question their character.
- Their over-the-top theatrics (fake victimhood, exaggerated accusations) make them look:
- Unstable (Why are they so obsessed?)
- Projective (Their accusations often reveal their sins.)
Truth has a way of outliving lies.
3. Their Hoover Attempts Prove You’re Winning
- If you were truly “worthless,” why would they keep circling back?
- Their desperation to re-engage (love-bombing, threats, pity plays) screams:
- “I can’t function without my favorite toy (you).”
Silence is your superpower—their need for reaction is their kryptonite.
4. Their Control Tactics Force You to Grow
- Their abuse accelerates your awakening:
- Gaslighting → You learn to trust yourself.
- Isolation → You find real community.
- Manipulation → You master boundaries.
They wanted a puppet—they created a warrior.
5. Their Karma is Built Into Their Pathology
- Narcissists can’t change, so they’re doomed to:
- Repeat the same cycles (and lose everyone).
- Live in a self-made prison of paranoia (trusting no one, even allies).
- Die emotionally starved (no capacity for real love).
Their punishment is being them.
The Final Twist: You Outlive Their Narrative
- They expected you to collapse into their shadow—but instead, you:
- Heal.
- Thrive.
- Forget them.
Their “destruction” was the fertilizer for your rebirth.
by Yaseen | Apr 1, 2025 | Mental Health, Narcissistic Abuse
a narcissist’s obsessive need to control another human being is pathological, deeply irrational, and a form of psychological insanity. Here’s why their behavior is not just “toxic,” but fundamentally a broken, disordered way of existing:
1. They Are Emotionally Still Toddlers
Narcissists are stuck in an infantile mindset where they believe:
- “If I can’t see/control it, it doesn’t exist.” (Like a baby who thinks you vanish when you leave the room.)
- “Your autonomy = my abandonment.”
This is why they rage when you have independent thoughts—they lack object permanence for your humanity.
2. Their “Self” is a House of Cards
A healthy ego can tolerate differences, but a narcissist’s false self is so fragile that:
- Your free will threatens their entire identity (because they mirror others to feel real).
- If they can’t control you, they dissolve into existential panic—like a cult leader losing a follower.
3. They Confuse Control With Survival
To a narcissist:
- Love = Ownership (“If you’re truly mine, you must be an extension of me.”)
- Boundaries = Betrayal (“How dare you have a self outside of my needs?”)
This isn’t love—it’s emotional cannibalism.
4. They Are Addicted to the Illusion of Omnipotence
Healthy people accept limits; narcissists rage against them because:
- Controlling you = “I am God in this tiny world.”
- Losing control = “I am nothing.”
Their grandiosity is just compensation for a bottomless void of shame.
5. The Insanity of Their Double Standards
- They demand absolute freedom for themselves (cheating, lying, exploiting) but total obedience from you.
- They call you “selfish” for having needs while they take everything.
This isn’t—it’s a delusional disorder.
Why It’s Literally Insane
- Reality-testing failure: They believe their fantasy of control is more real than your humanity.
- Magical thinking: “If I scream loud enough, I can force you to be who I need.”
- Repetition compulsion: They keep trying the same abusive tactics, expecting different results (the definition of insanity).
The Deepest Truth
Their need for control has nothing to do with you.
It’s the desperation of a person who:
- Never developed a real self
- Cannot tolerate the existence of others’ free will
- Is trapped in a lifelong tantrum against reality
Your Power Move
- See their behavior as the pathology it is—not a reflection of your worth.
- Stop expecting them to be rational—you’re trying to reason with a malfunctioning robot.
- Freedom is the ultimate rebellion—their worst nightmare is you living well without their permission.
Narcissism isn’t just toxicity—it’s a legitimate disability in how to be human. You’re not dealing with a person; you’re dealing with a walking void that mistakes control for existence.
by Yaseen | Apr 1, 2025 | Mental Health, Narcissistic Abuse
Toxic people—especially narcissists, sociopaths, and emotional vampires—weaponize your empathy like a psychological crowbar to pry open your boundaries, drain your energy, and trap you in their drama. Here’s exactly how they do it (and how to disarm them):
1. The Empathy Trap: How They Exploit Your Good Nature
They reframe your kindness as a weakness and manipulate it to:
- Guilt-trip you – “If you really cared, you’d do this for me.”
- Play victim – “After all I’ve suffered, how can you abandon me?”
- Gaslight you – “You’re too sensitive/selfish for having needs.”
Their goal? Make you feel wrong for having limits, so you keep giving while they keep taking.
2. The “Reverse Empathy” Trick
Healthy empathy = “I feel with you.”
Toxic empathy = “You must fix me—or you’re cruel.”
Example:
- You: “I need space after that fight.”
- Them: “So you’re just going to leave me alone in my pain? I guess you don’t love me.”
Translation: “Your needs are less important than my demands.”
3. How They Pathologize Your Strength
They’ll distort your empathy into a flaw to exploit:
- Compassion → “You’re naive.”
- Patience → “You’re a pushover.”
- Forgiveness → “You’ll tolerate anything.”
Why? If they can convince you your kindness is stupidity, you’ll suppress it—and they win.
4. The “Empathy Bait” Tactic
They dangle fake vulnerability to lure you in:
- “You’re the only one who understands me.”
- “I’m so broken… but you can save me.”
Reality: This is emotional fishing—they want you to earn their approval through endless emotional labor.
5. How to Protect Your Empathy (Without Losing It)
Step 1: Spot the “Empathy Test”
When you feel guilty for saying no, ask:
- “Is this person reciprocating my care, or just demanding more?”
- “Would they do this for me in reverse?”
Step 2: Reframe Empathy as Discernment
Healthy empathy = Compassion with boundaries.
- “I can care about your pain, but I won’t fix it for you.”
- “I can listen, but I won’t set myself on fire to keep you warm.”
Step 3: Reverse the Script
When they guilt-trip:
- Them: “How can you be so cold?”
- You: “How can you expect so much?”
Step 4: Practice “Empathic Detachment”
- Observe, don’t absorb. “I see you’re hurting, but that’s not my responsibility to resolve.”
- Silence is power. Don’t JADE (Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain).
The Irony They Hate
Your empathy is actually your strength—it’s why they targeted you. But when you direct that care BACK to yourself, their manipulation fails.
Remember:
- Takers hate givers who stop giving.
- Your empathy is a gift—not a leash they get to pull.
by Yaseen | Mar 31, 2025 | Mental Health, Narcissistic Abuse
When a narcissist hoovers (tries to suck you back in) or acts irrationally after you’ve gone no contact, their behavior is driven by a toxic cocktail of ego injury, panic, and psychological addiction to control. Here’s what’s really happening inside them:
1. Narcissistic Injury (Ego Collapse)
- Their greatest fear: Being irrelevant.
- No contact = ultimate rejection, which shatters their illusion of superiority.
- Their reaction isn’t about missing you—it’s about their ego screaming:
“How DARE you prove I’m not needed?!”
2. Supply Withdrawal (Like a Drug Addict in Crisis)
- Narcissists feed off your attention—even negative reactions (anger, sadness) are “supply” to them.
- No contact = cold turkey withdrawal. Their psyche goes into panic mode, scrambling to:
- Regain control (hoovering with fake apologies, guilt trips, or rage).
- Provoke any reaction (even anger = proof they still “matter”).
3. The “Empty Shell” Effect
- Without someone to mirror, manipulate, or dominate, they feel hollow.
- Their irrational behavior (stalking, love-bombing, smear campaigns) is a desperate attempt to fill their inner void—like a puppet master whose puppets walked away.
4. Fragile Reality Testing
- Narcissists rewrite history to protect their ego.
- Your silence forces them to face two unbearable truths:
- They lost control.
- You’re happier without them.
- This triggers psychotic-level denial (hence irrational actions: showing up unannounced, creating drama out of nowhere).
5. Hidden Shame & Abandonment Rage
- Beneath the surface, they secretly feel worthless—and your rejection confirms it.
- Their rage/hoovering is a tantrum (like a child screaming when a toy is taken away).
- Key insight: The more extreme their reaction, the more power you’ve reclaimed.
What They Want You to Feel:
- Guilty (“You’re hurting them”)
- Afraid (“They’ll never let you go”)
- Responsible (“Maybe I overreacted”)
What They Fear Most:
- Your indifference.
- The moment you stop caring—even enough to hate them—they lose all power.
How to Stay Free:
- Block everywhere. No contact = no oxygen for their drama.
- Document threats. Save evidence (screenshots, voicemails) for legal protection.
- Affirm your strength:
“Their chaos is proof I escaped. A healthy person doesn’t act this way.”
Their irrationality isn’t about you—it’s the death throes of their control. Keep walking. 💪
by Yaseen | Mar 9, 2025 | Mental Health, Narcissistic Abuse
Here are some possible reasons why verbally abusing yourself might feel soothing:
Internalized Shame and Self-Blame
- Narcissistic abuse: Years of narcissistic abuse can lead to internalized shame and self-blame. You may have absorbed the abuser’s negative messages, making you believe you’re worthless, stupid, or unlovable.
- Self-blame as a coping mechanism: Verbal self-abuse can be a way to cope with feelings of powerlessness, anxiety, or depression. By blaming yourself, you may feel like you’re regaining control over your life.
Neurobiological Factors
- Stress response: Verbal self-abuse can activate the brain’s stress response, releasing stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. This can create a sense of temporary relief or numbness.
- Dopamine release: Self-criticism can sometimes trigger a dopamine release, which can feel pleasurable or soothing. This can create a self-reinforcing cycle of negative self-talk.
Learned Behavior
- Modeling behavior: You may have learned this behavior from the narcissistic abuser, who consistently criticized and belittled you.
- Self-parenting: Verbal self-abuse can be a way to reenact the abusive relationship, with yourself taking on the role of both the abuser and the victim.
Breaking the Cycle
- Self-compassion: Practice self-compassion by treating yourself with kindness, understanding, and patience. Acknowledge that you’re doing the best you can.
- Reframe negative self-talk: Challenge negative self-talk by reframing critical thoughts into more balanced and realistic ones.
- Seek professional help: Consider seeking help from a therapist or counselor who specializes in trauma, CPTSD, and narcissistic abuse. They can help you develop coping strategies and work through underlying issues.
- Support groups: Join online support groups or forums for survivors of narcissistic abuse. Sharing your experiences and connecting with others who understand can be incredibly helpful.
Remember, you are not alone, and you deserve compassion, kindness, and understanding.
